Actually Never

For 27 years, I wrote concert reviews. Stupid Little Concert Reviews to be specific, because I’m not very good at naming things.

The last concert I saw was back in January. It’ll be July 1 on Saturday. The half-finished draft review is still sitting in my iPhone Notes app.

I love having this big archive of reviews. I love being reminded of fun nights and great shows. I love trying to decipher the inside jokes that Past Me included specifically to confuse Future Me (who is now Present Me). But actually writing the reviews got tiresome. I’ve seen Hawksley Workman in concert 27 times. What else could I have to say? And how would my thoughts ever be relevant to someone who’s seen him a normal human amount of times? Such as zero times or one times?

So for a long time, I’ve been thinking of finding a new creative writing outlet. Didn’t know what. Then I stumbled upon this idea here.

Two weeks ago, I got in the car, and it started playing Saturday Night’s Alright for Fighting because that was the last song I’d searched for in Apple Music (they use it in wrestling now) and I decided to just play through the whole Goodbye Yellow Brick Road album since I’d actually never heard it before.

It got me thinking about how many times I’ve been talking about something with someone and how I’d actually never seen the something in question. Often, it’s The Godfather. I’ve said “I’ve actually never seen The Godfather” many, many times. I have also owned a copy of The Godfather since (checks DVD copyright info) …2001?!?! Oh dear. That can’t be right. I’m sure it’s right.

One of the other things that made writing concert reviews a chore is that when I was 21 and knew nothing, I was very confident in my opinions. Now I’m 46 and I don’t want to sound like I think I’m an expert on anything. I can’t play an instrument. I can’t sing. Who am I to say what’s good and what isn’t?

Let me take a moment to be thankful that social media wasn’t a thing when I started my concert reviews because I would have deservedly been Twitter’s main character several times over.

Anyway. My idea, if the title (I’m bad at naming things) didn’t give it away, is to write about the things I’ve actually never seen, heard, tried. Hopefully this will give me a bit of leeway if I say something exceptionally stupid since I’m openly approaching my subjects from a place of self-avowed ignorance.

Maybe I’ll have unique insights because I’m approaching common things with fresh eyes?

Maybe I’ll make the most obvious points.

Maybe I’ll miss making the most obvious points.

So what all are you reviewing here?

It can be anything, as long as it’s something where you might be surprised to learn that I have never experienced it. Like The Godfather. There will be movies, TV shows, albums, books, video games, foods, experiences. I’m a big fan of this idea for the flexibility of it.

I’m aiming for a post a week, exact schedule TBD. We’ll see how that shakes out. Could be more if I get into this, could be less if it feels too much like work. Right now I’ve got that new project enthusiasm.

Why is it Actually Never and not Never Actually?

No reason. I tend to say it both ways, and in fact, I have to look every time I write the title to make sure I’m getting it right. I registered actuallynever.com first, then thought about getting Never Actually as well just to cover my bases; as it turns out, neveractually.com was taken. Fine by me, makes my decision easier and saves me a domain registration fee.

Do you take suggestions?

Absolutely. Suggestions and any other feedback can go on the comments on any post or by email to actuallyneverdotcom at gmail dot com.