Actually Never

A quick googling confirms that I first heard of Pocari Sweat in Dave Barry Does Japan, a book that was adored by 17-year-old me to a frankly embarrassing degree. Also a book that under no circumstances do I plan to revisit, for the most obvious reasons.

I might skim back through 1997’s Dave Barry in Cyberspace, though. I can see it… not holding up, exactly, but it might have aged into being funny in a new way.

Since we’re talking old internet stuff, I’ll mention that yesterday, I was revisiting message board posts from over 20 years ago and no I will not tell you where they are, and was amused to find a movie review I posted where I mentioned that I’d Actually Never™ seen it before. The seeds for this goldmine of an idea were planted decades ago!

(It was The Breakfast Club and I found it dated but enjoyable.)

What I knew

Not a lot. Some kind of drink, maybe like a Gatorade. Funny name (to native English speakers, anyway).

What I know

There’s been a Great Asian Market near my house for years. It used to be a carpet store. I consider this an upgrade, but I’d Actually Never™ gone there. Mika would always ask when we’d drive by it. I never had a good reason for not going. Just hadn’t.

And then I found myself on my day off, and I’d taken the recycling to Sarcan (their COVID-inspired Drop & Go system is such a convenience that maybe the pandemic was worth it), and I was right in the area.

The other nearby post-Sarcan options are Fuddrucker’s and Giant Tiger, but I’d already had lunch, and I’ve never seen anything that interesting at a Giant Tiger. Not since the very first time I went to one and they were selling “For those about to fart, we salute you” t-shirts, anyway. Hard to top that.

Someone tried opening a discount store in Saskatoon called The Great Big Lion Store. It didn’t last and I never went there, but that’s a five-star name.

Anyway. I went to the Asian grocery and didn’t get any chips despite there being like 20 different new-to-me kinds. Instead, I got:

• a bottle of Pocari Sweat, obviously,
• a peach oolong Pepsi (pretty good; tastes like if you Arnold Palmer’d Pepsi and peach Pure Leaf iced tea),
• a box of mango bubble tea mix (haven’t tried yet),
• a bottle of Kewpie mayonnaise (haven’t tried yet but it comes highly recommended on cooking videos),
• and a watermelon Mirinda. This was a brand of soda I’d Actually Never™ heard of before, and it wasn’t bad. Closer to actual watermelon flavour than I was expecting, though still had some of that traditional fake watermelon gum flavour.

The bottle revealed Pocari Sweat was, in fact, a Gatorade-style drink for replenishing fluids and electrolytes. Unlike Gatorade, one of its suggested uses is for after a hot bath.

To give it a fair assessment, I waited until I’d exerted myself a bit. That’s how it became my reward for hauling the winter tires upstairs and loading them into the car.

Sure enough, it was just like a Gatorade. The flavour was citrusy, like a weak flat Fresca. Which sounds terribly unappetizing, but you’ve probably had a Gatorade, you get it.

I didn’t measure my electrolytes, but I assume they were suitably replenished. Really, I couldn’t have been down that many.

Verdict: not bad at all. Not worth making a special trip to get, but if I go back for chips – specifically the Hot And Sour Lemon Braised Chicken Feet, Hot And Spicy Braised Duck Tongue, or Roasted Cumin Lamb Skewer Lay’s – I might pick one up.