Actually Never

I already said I didn’t mean for this to be a movie blog, but I especially didn’t mean for it to become a documentary blog. At least the next one is going to be more of a miniseries instead of a feature-length film. Branching out!

What I knew

Very famous and critically successful documentary! Werner Herzog makes a movie about a crazy guy who lived in the wilderness with bears and also got eaten by the bears.

Also, I had heard the “you must never listen to this” line referenced in a podcast earlier that week. Coincidentally, I saw the movie was on Tubi in the “leaving soon” section, so here we are.

What I know

My description above was pretty accurate, though the crazy guy in question only lived in the wilderness part time. And he was a lot younger and more clean-shaven than I had pictured him in my mind. Truly, I had expected him to be a grizzly man.

I didn’t know his girlfriend was also killed by the bears. I said before when talking about Jackass that they can do whatever dumb things they want to themselves but I don’t like when they involve innocent bystanders. Turns out that’s about how I feel about living in the wild with bears too. Either go alone or with like-minded souls.

The dude was bonkers but about halfway through the movie, we met a… coroner, I guess he was? His intensity and aura were off the chain and he took a surprise lead in the movie’s craziness standings. Then I saw the footage of the titular bear aficionado happily touching one of the bears’ poops while saying “that’s her poop! It was just inside her! It’s her poop! It’s still warm!” and I got a needed dose of perspective.