Actually Never

When I was a little kid, I wanted everything. I’d like to think I’m better about it now but I’m writing this waiting for the Nintendo Switch 2 preorders to begin.

What I knew

One of my many childhood wants was the Snoopy Sno-cone Machine. Makes sense. I loved Peanuts comics. I loved treats. And most importantly I didn’t have a lot of common sense when it came to advertising. I didn’t realize an Easy Bake Oven (which I also never had) was just a light bulb in a box. And for all I knew, this was an actual Slurpee machine.

What a hardscrabble upbringing I had. Denied child-size appliances, I had to settle for the Snoopy Brusha Brusha Toothbrush. Oral hygiene was an easier sell to my mom I guess.

What I know

You can make your childhood dreams come true for $11.54 US on Amazon (plus $7.09 for shipping).

With the wisdom of age, I didn’t have high expectations. But sometimes that doesn’t stop you. Sometimes you shop on your phone at night and sometimes you have a run-in with that Buy With 1-Click button.

This is the “New & Improved Original Snoopy Sno-cone machine.” I’m not sure how it is new, improved, and yet also original. I’ve been told that the new design is better, since the shaved ice falls directly into a cup instead of just a tunnel in the middle of the machine. You still get a little plastic shovel for scooping it, though.

You make ice with the provided molds, then put an ice… they’re not cubes, more like if you froze water in a Dixie cup, so yeah, let’s just go with “an ice.” You put an ice in the ice pit, put Snoopy on top, then press down and turn to shave the ice. This takes a while.

The machine comes with 3 paper cups and one packet of syrup powder. I got fruit punch – Mika said “that tastes red” – I think that’s the default. You can order other syrups.

The whole thing takes way more effort and makes more of a mess (just shaved ice everywhere) than is really worth it for two tablespoons of red sno-cone. It’s apparent to me why I was never allowed to have one as a kid. It’s also a delight and I’m thrilled to have it. I’ll also likely never use it again as soon as the initial red goo runs out.